You see this darling little girl? This is her on Christmas sneaking leftovers from dinner while she thought no one was watching. This would be filed under the "safe" category of things that Lucy does while she thinks no one is watching. The list of "unsafe" is growing longer and longer every day. I am starting to feel a little panicked about the arrival of the new baby. I have never felt stressed about the birth of a baby, I've never worried about being able to handle the added responsibility, I've known that I am a capable mother and can handle what comes at me. That being said, I am scared this time, not really about the number of kids we are going to have but that Lucy is one of those kids. I'm not sure I can keep her safe and me sane all while tending to the needs of a helpless newborn. Maybe I've just hit my breaking point this week with all the climbing and screaming and disaster that seems to follow her? Maybe I'm just too pregnant and too exhausted to keep up with her? I love her so much and want to be a good mother to her but sometimes I'm just lost. Short of dropping everything and spending every moment at her side I'm not sure what to do to make our days functional. I wish I knew how to harness her energy and spunk into something less destructive. I know at the end of the day I will be able to do this, she will grow out of this someday (she has to, right?), but right now I am feeling a fear that I am not use to and that is making me question all the mothering confidence that I have built-up over the years and that's a scary place to be.
5 comments:
Glad to hear that I am not the only one struggling a bit with a super active toddler. It sounds like Lucy and Persy would make great partners in crime! :)
OH! Sounds just like my Paige. Really there is rarely a break in talking and moving. Always going. Always! Wonder if it's a second child thing.
Wish I had advice beyond, "somehow it'll work out." It will be a bit better once you are not pregnant and can physically chase her more easily.
Plus, eventually they do crash and sleep. And, eventually we will get a full night's sleep again too, right?
Don't worry... First with your family you cannot fail. There are many of us , me included, who will come at your beck & call, take Lucy to their place and simply follow her around foiling her attempts to lay waste to the planet...Second she unfortunately will learn fear as she grows and learns the law of gravity and other such inconvenient things. That will be a sad day, despite what you think now.
She will never learn fear. Ha ha, good thing you have me :)
I'm sure it will work out in the end, I don't have much mother advice but I remember I always felt nervous at the beginning of every semester in college. I would think, "how will I ever do it all?" and then somehow I would. Most times we are capable of more than we give ourselves credit for. Don't lose your confidence Bekah, you are an awesome mom and I'm sure everything will be okay.
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